Invisibly Yours

Ok so how many people excessively use the "invisible mode" on yahoo? Personally, I love it.

Google has it too, but I'm biased to yahoo. Probably not a good thing to say when I'm using blogger eh? In the harsh real world we live in, invisibility is just a figment of imagination, or is it? An invisible cloak, some potion, Mr.India or the Harry Potter kind of stuff would still be in demand 100 years from now.

Anonymity can be such a boon, especially when it involves some nagging and highly irksome people who just won't take a hint. It gives me the advantage of being online yet wary of the gossipmongers who don't spare anyone. It's my magic wand that makes me invisible to the world and available to a few elite who deserve my attention, or sometimes maybe the other way around. It's my escape from the people who want to make small talk and in the entire world's politeness, pick me to ask a favor. Nah, I'll pass thank you very much.

Speaking of being mysterious online, I remember the time (and this is prolly going to give out my age, sigh...it’s only a number...it’s only a number) when hotmail and yahoo were new and happening. Everyone wanted to be on the 'world wide web.' Everyone gave out their email address like a cheap fake smile, like it or leave it type of thing. And everyone, I mean EVERYONE was on yahoo chat. There were a hundred something live chat rooms based on a billion different preferences that stopped at nothing. Chat rooms for different ethnic groups and even a state wise allocation for the really keen ones.

It was for the sophisticated, it was for the sleazy and everyone in-between. There were some who much to my repulsion, wanted to put their life as it unfolded on the internet. Some sort of fetish that was. Most people were on it for social networking. The others were looking for some sort of love that kept evading them; I wouldn't be surprised if they still haven't found it. It was the 'in' thing. There were shady email ids that wouldn't have a hint of the sex of the person, let alone anything else. The fairly naïve ones had their email address with their family name-given name-last name@yahoo/hotmail.com, some still do. It took more than just phonetics to help spell it. It was hilarious. Again, they all loved to sport this totally different personality online. Almost like a façade. I mean sure, who wants to talk to a forty year old pot bellied guy in a grocery store when the same guy camouflages himself into a hot and happening, twenty something guy, bearing an uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt?

Sure, some people are just very comfortable putting their most intimate secrets in their status message, but is that the true reflection of who they really are? It’s almost like they don a different personality, only this one is more comfortable being so upfront and open. I’ve read people’s life stories in their status messages, funny right? Not one bit. The more explicit it gets the more I cringe at the thought of being a shoulder for them to cry on. I mean how can I tell you what you did wrong and why your boyfriend broke up with you, even if you’re doing it as we speak?

Sometimes even the brave, like myself, tend to slip into the convenience of escapism rather than take on the other invisible 'others'. It’s just so much easier that way. A friend recently started tested being invisible. She’s usually pretty upfront and candid so you can imagine my surprise when she decided to take cover from a certain someone. All that up-in-your-face attitude and then what? You finally lose to such weirdos who ask you the most appalling stuff on chat (any communication except face-face). From stuff like what's your salary to what are you wearing?

These days its 'ok' not to add acquaintances you once rubbed shoulders with in some ancient organization you worked for, if you don't want to. There is no moral police who will hunt you down and nail you for choosing not to be associated to some people who just want to feed off your sympathy or in some cases, the entire you. I get a lot of requests on Facebook from people who I met once and maybe exchanged a very compulsory yet polite 'hello' in some era. Am I going to add you and have you snoop into my profile and proclaim to the world how we're such good friends? Think again.

I like being invisible, in my own sense of the term. Like being in control of who gets to interact with me, yet socially being out there, I mean why can’t I have both? I like the privilege of being able to appear and disappear online (yeah where else?) and sure we all like to bask in the convenience that comes with technology. So the next time you’re online and you’re wondering where everyone is, ping them and you’ll be surprised. Signing off, invisibly yours.

Feeding the 'I'

We are born with it - the selfish inaccessible part of our personality that demands immediate satisfaction. It is what drives us to get better and to the top of the world, maybe sometimes, even at the cost of righteousness. We all secretly crave to feed it and we sure can’t tell it apart from what we claim is our 'self-respect.'

I - it is what differentiates a person from the rest of the world. It is one of the most important ways in which we set our selves apart, unique; just like everyone else I suppose. The single letter that can cause so much mayhem and presumably some of the biggest wars in the past. It sure as hell was the reason the timeless epic Mahabharata was fought for eons.

So why do we view this little three lettered word as being so negative yet, own a good amount of it in our system? Why do we simple deny having an ‘ego?’

I’ve posed this question to a good number of people who first get offended and then almost as a side effect, resort to self-denial. While in conversation when I casually broach the subject with friends, they look at me a second longer to see what my aim is when I mention the much debated word. Let’s face it. The last time I checked we all had one. Yes, it’s a little hodgepodge of what we call ‘the voice inside our head’; but how do we get to the bottom of our much tamed pride and self respect without getting walked all over? Ever wondered what part of our body produces the inner voice that we all fine-tune ourselves to hearing?

As we grow up we are taught ‘survival of the fittest.’ In blindly striving to be the ‘best’ we fail to tell ourselves the difference between ambition and superseding it. Why can we ‘not’ put the opposite person down in order to inflate our egos? It's a fad. Sadly, the same society that teaches us to keep ourselves in check is the one that provokes us to flex those biceps, roll up the sleeves and fight back.We all love to think how we're totally exempt from such sinisterly behavior.

Ego is not a subject or an elective. Ironically, it is probably easier to imbibe than the other important stuff we should be learning. Remember when you were a kid and you got bullied? Can you think of anyone who told you about take it lying down or said “Its ok honey. Let him take a few more swings at you and then it’ll all fall in place?” The fact is that we teach kids the difference between genders and why it’s ok for boys to have a bigger ego because they’re superior to girls. We teach them that if they fail they have to cork their tear glands, if not they’re no good. So why are we so surprised that there are are so many acts of rage in our everyday lives? Anger? Me thinks not, it’s the result of a bruised ego.

Honor Killings, jealousy towards a successful wife, ego battles over who said what that span a lifetime…does all of this seem worthwhile in the race against time? We love to go out of our way to prove how we don’t have an ego and in the process, up the ante. A few people have a hard time believing and even if that impossible feat has been achieved the bigger problem is confronting their ego. So many great men and women have talked about being humble but despite all those moral science classes in school, what easily comes to our mind is the poverty stricken hero who lets his vengeance shine loud and clear and predictably, winning our hearts..awww dont we just love happy and fair endings?

What it all boils down to and this might vary from person to person depending on the degree of their tolerability and will power is to ask ourselves: Where can I run to escape from myself? I’m thinking the better (read smarter) alternative would be to smile the next time when someone cuts me off at the traffic light, refrain from gritting my teeth when I have to say sorry if it can help the situation…and lay low when the guy expects you to throw a punch at his face for calling you names. What we don’t do won’t make us lesser than who we are, but what we do in a fit of rage, definitely will.